It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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