just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
