Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
