why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
