absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
