actually, I'm a sock model
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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