I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
