and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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