hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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