I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
