Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize