Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
