Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
