So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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