She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
false alarm, still single
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