this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
