I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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