Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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