Sry I called you an 8
Dual....:-)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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