oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
