she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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