She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Small penises have feelings too.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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