I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
