He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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