We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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