he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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