my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
