Can i not drive my cunt home
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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