My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
