dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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