just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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