I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
