Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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