It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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