What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
