Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
