You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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