the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
