Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
