A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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