She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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