and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
