i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
