I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
