she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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