I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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