dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
