The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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