Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
