I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize