oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
