pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
