THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She bit a glass in half.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
