I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Damn victory sex feels great
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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