I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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