how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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