..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
