When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
