i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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